Angel's attitude on decision goes a bit like this: "Ultimately, I perceive to the best of my ability what is appropriate. I decide to do it, or not do it. And having decided, I do it. And if I found out that what I was going to do would end my life tonight, or leave me crippled for years, or take twenty years off my lifespan, it would not change my decision. I decided. And I'll do it. It doesn't matter if I feel sad, it doesn't matter if it hurts, it was the appropriate choice to make and I made it, and if the whole world stands against me, I have made this choice and I am not backing down."
This attitude allows you to have a choice. Most people, they make a decision, and then when they are hungry, or horny, or want chocolate, they decide it's too much work and give up on the decision. In which case it wasn't a choice, it wasn't a decision, it was a whim, a tantrum, a phase. In one moment, you feel like this so you say this, and in that moment you feel like that so you say that. That's not making a choice. When you make a choice, you live that choice. You make a decision and stick to it, no matter what it costs or what you feel now or later. You can change your mind - you are not a slave to your choices. A year from now, six months from now, a week from now, you could find new information or a new piece of awareness that allows you to look at it differently. And you can say, "Given that, I choose this."
And this matters if you ever want to be anything more than a sheep, wandering around, being scared away by every movement of the grass, turning aside at every scary looking bush. It matters if you ever want to become something real. But it matters more for those who want to shape, to weave the world to their will. You say "This needs to be, I decided, and the whole world can change to suit me." This is what shaping is: deciding so strongly, that anything that might oppose you, says "Well your will is stronger, and so it goes your way."
Angel, 2014-08-26
